


juris praecepta sunt haec : honeste vivere, alterum non laedere, suum cuique tribuere

by la_faye_tte



Category: Black Friday - Team StarKid
Genre: Legal Jargon, Legal maxims, me? projecting my law school experiences? it's more likely than you think, tw: mentions of death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:01:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22986022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/la_faye_tte/pseuds/la_faye_tte
Summary: juris praecepta sunt haec : honeste vivere, alterum non laedere, suum cuique tribuerea legal maxim translating to "These are the precepts of the law: To live honorably; to hurt nobody; to render to every one his due."
Comments: 9
Kudos: 21





	juris praecepta sunt haec : honeste vivere, alterum non laedere, suum cuique tribuere

**Author's Note:**

> legal jargon shall be defined in the footnotes at the bottom
> 
> disclaimer: I don't actually know what laws govern Hatchetfield since none of that was ever mentioned and laws vary in every jurisdiction so I'm just basing some of this off of the laws I've been studying even if I live in a different jurisdiction. I'll just assume these are generally-accepted legal principles anyway.

**_honeste vivere_ **

_Dura lex sed lex._ "The law is hard but it is the law." Gary convinced himself it was worth it. He finished law school, he didn’t flunk out, he didn’t give up on it, not even when only less than half of the class made it to No one needed to know how much of a hellhole law school was and how demonic some professors could be. No one needed to know about the panic attacks, the depression, and the crushed self esteem. No one needed to know about how much his hands shook when he received his test papers back, how desperately he prayed whenever the professor shuffled the class cards, the way his heartbeat accelerated when his name was called, the way he had to bite his tongue and force himself to remain stoic when his professor called him stupid. No. He had to go through all of that to get that "Atty." to acquire the privilege, the prestige, the recognition, the validation. He worked his fucking ass off to get here, to be respected. Because when you've got that "Atty." no one would dare mess with you or fuck you over. Not anymore and never again. He was a lawyer now, one of the noblest professions there is, depending on who you ask at least. Still. He is now someone to be respected. He’s won a majority of his cases. He’s not stupid. He’s not no one. He was able to defend even the vilest people, and won. Nevermind if the ones who didn’t understand the nature of his work condemned him for it. It was all in the presumption of innocence, the rights of the accused, and the right to due process. That’s what all those hardships and lessons were for. Nevermind that people only respected the profession and not really the person. Whatever.

* * *

**_alterum non laedere_ **

_Caveat emptor._ "Buyer beware." Beware of the hidden deception and defects of products before purchase. Gary reminded himself of that rule in sales, and yet, there is nothing at all defective or wrong about Wiggly. Wiggly was perfect in every way. Wiggly knew every person's deepest desires before they even knew it themselves and Wiggly promised to grant it to them, if they were willing to comply. 

There had been some conflict in the line further up front and of course he had to listen, he's got to get the facts and issue clear before arriving at the applicable legal doctrine or provision. And of course he would come to his clients' beck and call, it was his official duty. It was satisfying to see Frank Pricely reel back to accommodate his clients' wishes, because it meant he was still good at his job. And while Linda Monroe took offense to his defense of Sherman Young, what he did was technically legal considering there was no conflict of interest. Sorry Linda, but you aren't the only person in Hatchetfield who could afford such legal services. He briefly considers telling her that what she had just done to him constituted direct assault against a person in authority, or at the very least, slight physical injuries, but his ethics will not allow him. He returns to his spot in line and not too long after, utter chaos breaks out. The moment one Wiggly was brought out of the box, that Wiggly became _res nullius_ , no one's property. Free for the taking. Gary was no stranger to the need to push his way to the top by making sure others fell. Law school was ruthless competition. Passing grades were never enough to graduate and pass the Bar after all, and if he survived that, he could do it again today.

The next few hours felt like a blackout. Is that what some of his clients described as their vision turning dark before they are mad with blind rage? People have been reduced to their animalistic instincts and were turning against each other in search for their own Wigglys. When the fog in his brain had somewhat lifted, he finally noticed the warm, fresh blood, the stench of iron reeking off his hands. He can't be liable for this. He can't be liable for a homicide. That would mean losing his license, that would mean losing everything he's worked so hard for. No. If this winds up at court, he'll have to be his own legal counsel. Let's see, if settlement isn't an option, the case filed would most likely be murder since these people don't really know the difference between that and homicide. It's really homicide due to the lack of premeditation. So that would be a lower sentence, but the degree could be even lower if they go through plea bargaining. Then, he'd be able to say the crime was only death in a tumultuous affray. If the court grants it, then at most, he'd be charged with a crime with a penalty two degrees lower than murder, and the penalty is bailable.

But that's not good enough. Atty. Goldstein is held at a high standard, and he will not settle for less than his best for this. There were no witnesses, besides the man just a bit more unhinged than himself (really, that guy's more liable than him but he can do this without pointing fingers.) There wouldn't be enough proof besides the DNA left behind on the corpse, and who knows what happened to that after they left the crime scene. They weren't the only ones willing to rip the mall apart for that Wiggly. It'd be a miracle if the authorities even figure it out.

His hands weren't clean, but he was innocent until proven guilty beyond reasonable doubt.

* * *

**_suum cuique tribuere_ **

The gunshot rang out, loud and resounding above the tension and the next thing he knew, he was cradling his client's lifeless form in his arms. It was no true love's kiss, but it was as if a spell had been broken, a curse had lifted. For starters, here goes his retainer fee. But more importantly, his duty now is to execute Linda Monroe's will and distribute her estate to her family. Gerald picks up immediately, and it was evident that Dr. Monroe already knew. Linda never ends her calls to him anyway, he must have heard, at least he didn't have to explicitly break the bad news. Couldn't be easy to suddenly bear the burden of raising four sons alone. There's nothing he could really say to be comforting so he goes straight to business, focuses on the legal issue instead. To avoid any more trouble and inconvenience, he takes it upon himself to carry Linda out and bring her to her family. It's what they deserved. And if Gerald wants to sue Becky Barnes, they'll just have to cross that bridge when they get there.

Heat rose into the air, smoke filling the atmosphere. When he turned back, the mall was engulfed in flames, the screams, weeping, and gnashing of teeth still audible as the mall-goers burned alive in the Lakeside inferno. Gary knew he was supposed to feel sorry for them, to feel remorseful for the events of the evening. Yet, he felt relieved. With a conflagration like that, the _corpus delicti_ would be lost. There would be no evidence for prosecution to prove him guilty beyond reasonable doubt of murder, homicide, or death in a tumultuous affray. He silently thanked whoever or whatever started that fire, before returning his focus to the task at hand. Gerald met him in the parking lot. The children stayed in the car, good. They probably wouldn't take this well. Gerald took his wife from Gary's arms and gingerly placed her in her car seat, and the boys began to burst into tears. They all knew what Linda was like, but nevertheless, she loved her children in her own somewhat misguided way. Gerald thanked him but the tiredness and grief was evident on his features and disposition, so the only thing he could do now was to offer his condolences and say they could just settle Linda's estate a different day. It's been an incredibly trying day for everyone. 

After the Monroes drove off, all he had now were his thoughts to himself. Watching the fire die down and reduce the establishment into an ashen ruin, clarity returned to him at last. He really should have been more diligent, because Wiggly never did grant him what he wanted most, and at this point, it seemed inconsequential now. What a fraud. Anyway, it was back to reality. Time to get back to work and deliver the services his clients deserve. After all, the practice of law never ends so long as he's applying his knowledge and skills, and Gary Goldstein is nothing if not an attorney-at-law.

**Author's Note:**

> Footnotes:  
> presumption of innocence - the accused is innocent until proven guilty  
> res nullius - [Latin] no man's property  
> retainer fee - the advance payment to an attorney for services to be performed, intended to insure that the lawyer will represent the client and that the lawyer will be paid at least that amount  
> plea bargaining - in criminal procedure, a negotiation between the defendant and his attorney on one side and the prosecutor on the other, in which the defendant agrees to plead "guilty" or "no contest" to some crimes, in return for reduction of the severity of the charges, dismissal of some of the charges, the prosecutor's willingness to recommend a particular sentence or some other benefit to the defendant  
> corpus delicti - [Latin] for the substantial fact that a crime has been committed, and in popular crime jargon, the body of the murder victim.
> 
> I guess I just unloaded and projected all 6 years of studying law. Whoops.


End file.
